Identifying what we need to thrive to help us focus on what matters most

In order to simplify our lives it is beneficial to look at what we really need  in order to thrive. I recommend printing this out and putting a number from 0 to 10 beside each need. 0 signifies that the need is not getting met at all, and 10 means the need is fully met.  You may want to take one of the needs that is really not getting met and focus on how it can be met. 

The only needs I take exception to is sexual expression.  I believe that people who value waiting until marriage until they have sexual intimacy do not need sexual expression in order to thrive. There are other situations where it is impossible to have sex, or people choose celibacy as a life style.  This list comes from the http://www.cnvc.org website.

The following list of needs is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant

as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of

deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and

connection between people.

CONNECTION

acceptance

affection

appreciation

belonging

cooperation

communication

closeness

community

companionship

compassion

consideration

consistency

empathy

inclusion

intimacy

love

mutuality

nurturing

respect/self-respect

CONNECTION continued

safety

security

stability

support

to know and be known

to see and be seen

to understand and

be understood

trust

warmth

PHYSICAL WELLBEING

air

food

movement/exercise

rest/sleep

sexual expression

safety

shelter

touch

water

HONESTY

authenticity

integrity

presence

PLAY

joy

humor

PEACE

beauty

communion

ease

equality

harmony

inspiration

order

AUTONOMY

choice

freedom

independence

space

spontaneity

MEANING

awareness

celebration of

life

challenge

clarity

competence

consciousness

contribution

creativity

discovery

efficacy

effectiveness

growth

hope

learning

mourning

participation

purpose

selfexpression

stimulation

to matter

understanding

© 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication

Website: http://www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org

Phone: +1.505-244-4041

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